CONFESSIONS OF A                                                                  
A San Francisco Girl's Down and Dirty Adventures in the Culinary Playground

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Sweet Tart (Tartine -- San Francisco, CA)

Let's face it, most croissants in America are greasy, leaden sacks of shit not worth the nasty ass shortening they're made with. Damn fuckers. If you're not going to make your croissant with butter, don't make one at all.

Tartine is a happy little spot (helmed by Elizabeth Pruitt and her multi talented staff) at the corner of 18th and Guerrero. And their croissants are so crazy good that you will find yourself eating one in your car because you can't wait until you get to work/home/school to eat it. Damn the crumbs, you're going to eat that croissant, bitches!

Tartine's croissants are the perfect amount of crunchy and flaky and chewy. The chocolate croissants are also amazing, although I'm pretty sure that they've got to be illegal.

Tartine also has an assortment of cakes, pies, pots de creme, croque monsieurs, cookies, granola, sammiches and other delightful treats for your tongue and tummy. They use organic ingredients, serve wine and one of the sandwiches has foie gras. A corner bakery with foie gras. I fucking love this city.

Their coffee sucks, though. But that's what Jon says and he's a picky ho. But fuck it, you should be picky because, really, there's no excuse for a shitty cup of coffee. Especially at a place where everything else is so mind altering-ly good.

Oh, don't count on eating it there -- the tables are always full. Just go ahead and scarf it all down in your car. Make Tartine your secret lov-ah.


"To eat is a necessity, but to eat intelligently is an art."
--La Rochefoucauld


Blogger The Tens said...

I still heart your trashmouth writing, and David Sedaris' and J.D. Salinger's and Brett Easton Ellis'... I love trashmouth!

1/20/2005 10:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was nervous to read your Tartine review because I was not going to allow you to say anything bad about the place! If you ever wonder why I am a few mintues late to work covered in crumbs, you have just solved the mystery!
And boy does the coffee suck.

4/06/2005 8:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not sure those greasy gigantic flaky messes are really croissants... and why are they black? No resemblance to a Parisien croissant at all! For some, these grease balls taste good, but they should be called something else... the croissants should be called something like... New Orleans sludge? Try La Farine or Bay Breads for the real deal.

1/11/2006 6:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love the croissants, but I could do with something half that size.

What I am really writing about is how in the world none of the posts mentioned THE BREAD?!?! By far the best bread in the Bay Area and I did try many places.

8/03/2006 1:02 PM  

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