CONFESSIONS OF A                                                                  
     
RESTAURANT WHORE
A San Francisco Girl's Down and Dirty Adventures in the Culinary Playground

Monday, November 08, 2004

Restaurant Behavior 101

Why is it that people are total jackasses at restaurants? I mean, it is completely appalling the way most people act. Here are some guidelines because I just can't take it anymore.

1. That host/hostess/server/bartender/general manager/etc. has a life. It's probably cooler than yours at that. So stop treating them like you are better than them. Show them some respect. Make Aretha proud.

2. If you see people waiting for a seat at the bar, don't run to take it from them first. If someone does this to you, don't get pissed off -- they probably didn't see you were waiting.

3. Everyone else wants to eat at the same popular restaurant as you. If you have to wait 20 minutes for your table, suck it up.

4. For the love of GOD, leave a fucking decent tip. Look at your bill. The total bill including tax. Move the decimal point one place to the left and double that. There's your tip. Servers work very hard and get paid very little. Plus a lot of the cooler places pool tips which means what you leave goes in a big bucket and is divided between servers, bartenders, bussers, etc. You need to make up for the jerk wad who left $6 on his $50 bill.

5. Say please. Say thank you. Repeat.

6. Ask questions (politely). If you don't eat sesame seeds, tell them. Don't wait for it to come on your seared ahi and then throw a fit.

7. Your salmon is not undercooked. It's supposed to be that way. Deal with it or order chicken.

8. Try it. Just try. Once. Then I'll never ask you to try it again. You might learn you like oysters/fennel/deer testicles.

9. If your baby/father/spouse/pet makes a mess, either clean it up or thank the people who do.

10. Maybe think about ordering a wine that's not from California. Try asking your server what goes with the food instead of immediately going to the Cakebread Chardonnay. Nothing against it, but it's not the best match for everything you're ever going to eat.

11. Ask the server for their advice/opinion on what to order. They know the food better than you and a good server will point you in just the right direction.

That's all for now. I'm sure I'll think of more later.

xoxo
Joy


"To eat is a necessity, but to eat intelligently is an art."
--La Rochefoucauld

2 Comments:

Blogger ron lussier said...

Don't know about deer testicles, but recently got to try bull balls (euphemistically 'Rocky Mountain Oysters') in a bar built from railroad ties in the middle of nowhere in Colorado.

While I didn't dislike them, and actually *enjoyed* the saltine-cracker breading, the thinly-sliced testicles themselves were rather tasteless. (Some would say subtle, but I think that when it tastes like Saltine crackers, it's pretty tasteless.)

But my Romanian best friend, who was with me, tells me that they're MUCH better when served whole.

For what it's worth.

7/17/2005 1:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with your great rule on tipping. ( did you come up with this? ) Tipping even more is appropriate, especially if the presentation, service and attention from the server are exceptional. I think it is important to remember that the server has nothing to do with the flavor or distaste of the food. Dennis Bloomfiled. IN

7/10/2007 8:57 AM  

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