CONFESSIONS OF A                                                                  
A San Francisco Girl's Down and Dirty Adventures in the Culinary Playground

Tuesday, September 16, 2008


  • I quit writing for I may be a whore, but I'm nobody's slut, and the pay just could not justify the amount of stress it was creating. I found I'd want to write for the blog, because it's a labor of love, but felt like I couldn't because I should be writing for my "paid" outlet (yes, "paid" is in quotations for a reason). So then I would procrastinate and not write at all. Shitacular all around.
  • I have a new respect for chefs. Feeding yourself is one thing, but creating a menu for other people, especially if that menu changes every day? It blows. I know, because I'm now making 47 course meals for Diner #3 every day, 3x a day. Kid can eat. If anyone has any creative ideas for a ravenous 10 month old, I'll take 'em (as long as they are not processed pieces of Satan, of course).
  • Debbie Phelps moment: Diner #3 sat through a 2 hour meal at A16, ate off the menu and didn't fuss despite it being past bedtime. For all my bitching and moaning about what a shitty sleeper he is, I lucked out in the food department. Thank God, because otherwise I might have lost the will to live. True story.
  • Also? Lunchables are every single thing that is wrong with America. Everything. Can someone please help me make that shit illegal? (See: Processed pieces of Satan.)
  • I love Dynamo Donut, but I swear they are NEVER open. No Sundays, and when we tried to go yesterday at 7:35 (they supposedly open at 7), also very closed. Why, God, WHY???
  • Friday night I had passionfruit bavarian for dinner. Oh yes I did.
  • I've barely gotten paid for my book so far. I'm trying to be patient, but my patience is giving out. It is an error of organization as opposed to anything shady, but still, folks, still. I mean that shit came out almost a year ago, yo.
  • Waterbar sucks. Bleh. (Maybe more to come, but don't even know that it's worth the effort.)
  • Serpentine is doing brunch now -- Hooray!
  • South had great food, but the service sucked so bad that even though I want to, I don't think I can go back (more to come on that).
  • We're considering having Diner #3's 1st birthday party in a bar. Is that cool or is that CPS worthy?
  • I'm thinking about posting about dining out with children, and how not to be the fucktard that everyone hates because their snot-nosed brat is terrorizing the joint -- interested?
  • Please vote. For Obama. Please. If you care about anything decent and fair (including food), you will do this. If you are not registered to vote, you can do that here.
  • I missed you even if you didn't miss me.

"To eat is a necessity. To eat intelligently is an art."
-- La Rochefoucauld


Blogger Green said...

The backyard of Zeitgeist (sp?) is child-friendly enough for a baby birthday party.

9/16/2008 4:43 PM  
Blogger Andie East said...

I am the internets and I missed you all the time Joy. Even if I can't eat out much now, I still want to KNOW!

I don't know much about cooking for the kids, but I like the Vegan Lunchbox. stuff is good and easy. Pasta and beans recipe is super easy, but not sure if he's noshing on real food, assume so. Also there's those sneaky chef stuff....

9/16/2008 4:44 PM  
Blogger cookiecrumb said...

Totally CPS. But, still, totally cool.

(10 months already??!! Holy crap.)

9/16/2008 5:07 PM  
Blogger the Lumpia said...

I want to learn how not to be that fucktard in a restaurant. I've been meaning to send a note to ask you about your tips, tricks, and sorcery on how Diner #3 became such a great dinner companion (including how to prevent your child from being a picky eater). We have a baby due in a few weeks and I don't want to believe my friends who say we won't be getting out much for a long time. Then I'll read your blog and it helps me to not believe them! And if you have Diner #3's birthday at a bar, my husband would be most impressed. Thank you for providing some hope!

9/16/2008 9:56 PM  
Blogger meathenge said...

Add food coloring to existing meals and watch them gobble!

9/17/2008 10:06 AM  
Blogger Michael Procopio said...

Welcome to the wonderful world of EX-Examiners. Feels better, doesn't it?

9/17/2008 2:11 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Oh Joy, you always make me laugh. =)

9/18/2008 8:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You and Ruth should join up on the dining with kids thing. She's got quite the yelp history on just that topic:

9/18/2008 10:59 AM  
Blogger JazzyB said...

Please tell us how to eat out with kids, I have a 8 1/2 month old I think would love it but I'm just not sure its possible`

9/18/2008 9:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We had our "after wedding reception" party at Romolo and they were AWESOME! I'm behind you 100% for the 1st birthday party thing. We just added a 3rd diner to our crew and I never would have thought to have a party at Romolo. I hope we are as motivated as you guys are when the time comes...

9/18/2008 11:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't have kids but I think the idea is cool anyway :)

9/19/2008 12:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about unprocessed pieces of seitan?

9/19/2008 5:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd LOVE to learn your tricks on how not to be THE fucktard at dining establishments! Our third diner is very good, so far, but I'm always on pins and needles that today will be the day that we have the big "L" on our forheads.

9/20/2008 10:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like you are doing all the right things already, by bringing him out with you. As he gets older, the key will be 1) distractions, 2) fast service and 3) taking turns.

1) Bring crayons, toys, cheerios; anything that will distract your little diner. (Tip: save some toys/books for ONLY dining out - keeps the interest factor high.)
2) We used to order for the kids first, then figure out what we wanted to eat.
3) Be prepared to take turns (you and hubby) to take diner#3 outside or just walking around the restaurant - it's hard for kids to sit still for the length of a meal.

Also, I usually tip 15-20% already, but when the kids were young (i.e. messy) I always threw another 5-10% on top of the regular tip - made me feel better for being the mom of messy kids.

Here's another tip on food for babies who can eat solids - and my kids still love to eat these. Peel then quarter (or smaller pieces for littler mouths) an apple. Microwave for about 2-3 minutes. Mix in some cinnamon. LET COOL. Instant yum!

9/22/2008 8:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think celebrating Diner #3's b-day at a bar is way cool! 95% of the celebration is for the parents surviving the year!!

9/22/2008 1:41 PM  
Blogger ron 'coyote' lussier said...

Yes, we did miss you. And yes, I would be interested in how parents could keep their badly-behaved spawn from being a nuisance. (Or is raising well-behaved children the oh-so-very-simple solution?)

9/22/2008 4:24 PM  

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