Rachael Ray, Minion of Satan (Dine and Dish #4)
When Sam threw down the gauntlet and called for all to attempt being Rachael Ray for a day, I couldn't resist. I watch her show, "$40 a day," cursing with each meal she eats. You see, something about Ms. Ray just makes my blood curdle. Maybe it's the orgasmic face she makes with EVERY fucking thing she eats (come on, it's not all that good). Maybe it's her poor attempts at being cool. Maybe it's her stupid way of buying a "snack" that ends up being the most expensive thing in her entire day's worth of meals. Maybe it's because some of her choices are just dumb. Maybe I'm just jealous that her job is traveling around the world to eat. In any case, she bugs me. But despite all this, I still watch the friggin' show. It's like the whole staring at a car accident thing -- I just can't look away.
And, I thought, I can eat on $40 a day easily. Especially here in sweet l'il San Francisco. So here's what I'd do with a $40 budget in SF, if I had to dine out all day. Because Lord knows, I would never dine out all day unless a challenge like this were in place. I'll continue writing when the laughter subsides.
BREAKFAST: Tartine. No brainer there. Where else (outside Paris) can you get a delicious, flaky, buttery (but not greasy) croissant? I'll take the pain au chocolat made with Scharfen Berger chocolate for $2.65 please, Alex. Add a cappucino and tip to that and you're looking at about $6.00. Hot damn!
LUNCH: Saigon Sandwich. Make mine a BBQ chicken banh mi, please, with some extra chilis. No charge for the labyrinth-like line. And how about a coke? All this will set you back a whopping $3. That's right, $3. Almost enough for a night with your mama, but not quite.
SNACK: Mitchell's Ice Cream. I'm not going to blow my wad on a snack, and at Mitchell's, I don't need to. Single cone with buko ice cream and chocolate jimmies (that would be sprinkles for those of you who did not have the privelege of growing up east coast style), plus a 50 cent tip for the scoopers who put up with a hell of a lot every day = only $3. Yes, same cost as lunch, but still balls cheap.
DINNER: Pizzeria Delfina. Salsiccia pizza with peppers and onions -- $13.25. And of course, one needs some wine, especially one who had a harrowing experience with the retardo Sprint lady on the phone today, so grab a glass of Montepulciano for a hefty $4. With tax and tip you are looking at $25. That's right, none of this Rachael Ray giving shit for tips bullcrap, I do right by my servers.
So my grand total comes out to $37. Leaving me enough money to grab another croissant at Tartine on my way home so I can eat it for breakfast tomorrow. Mmmm...gluttony.
Stand aside, Ms. Ray, I'm gunnin' for your job.
"To eat is a necessity. To eat intelligently is an art."