CONFESSIONS OF A                                                                  
A San Francisco Girl's Down and Dirty Adventures in the Culinary Playground

Monday, May 23, 2005


If you are on the South Beach Diet, PLEASE do not got to Zuni and order the chicken.

A couple behind us the other night did so, and then proceeded to leave the ENTIRE Tuscan bread salad (with which the delectable bird is stuffed) on their plate. I mean, really, that's just stupidity right there. Anyone who has had the chicken knows that the bread salad is a reason in and of itself for ordering Clucky. The man in the couple also left all of the croutons from his Caesar salad. I really think they should be psychiatrically evaluated. Yes, eat what you like. But don't order something when you know that 50% of it is comprised of something you can't, or won't, eat. Not only does it make work for you (by having to pick around it), it's insanely wasteful.

Jon pretty much had to hold me down to prevent me from walking over and forcing them to eat it. EAT, BITCHES, EAT!

Side note: This couple was also wearing what looked like pajamas. I'm all for casual dining -- I rarely hit any spot in anything other than jeans -- but this was a little too casual, even for me. Additionally, they took the display cookbook back to their table with them and kept it there for the entirety of their meal.

And if this wasn't bad enough, they committed the most cardinal of restaurant sins: They were rude to their server. Why anyone, ever, would fuck with the people who are bringing you your FOOD is beyond me.

My assessment based on the attire, food situation and cookbook faux pas was as follows: Tourists. That's still no excuse.

I really wanted to go and look at their check, so I could see what they tipped and supplement it if necessary (after what I'd seen, that server is lucky if she even got a tip). But I do have a little self control. Emphasis on "a little."

So I just made sure that after downing our caramel pot de creme in 3.5 seconds, we left our own tip and then some. Because that server deserves a medal for not bitch slapping them and sending them back to the hell from whence they came.

She gets a major gold star.


"To eat is a necessity. To eat intelligently is an art."
-- La Rochefoucauld


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